Thanks to "Cor ad Cor Loquitur" for this link. http://jbebeau.net16.net/transcompt.pdf
Let's compare one prayer in the three translations -- that currently in use, the one rejected by the Vatican in 1998, and the proposed new translation.
1973
All-powerful God,
increase our strength of will for doing good [FLAT, BANAL, UNIDIOMATIC]
that Christ may find an eager welcome at his coming [VAGUE]
and call us to his side in the kingdom of heaven, [FLAT, INEXPRESSIVE]
where he lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit,
one God, for ever and ever.
1998
Almighty God,
strengthen the resolve of your faithful people
to prepare for the coming of your Christ
by works of justice and mercy,
so that when we go forth to meet him
he may call us to sit at his right hand
and possess the kingdom of heaven.
2008
Grant, we pray, almighty God,
that your faithful may resolve [HORRENDOUSLY CIRCUITOUS AND ABSTRACT]
to run forth with righteous deeds, [UNIDIOMATIC, CLUMSY]
to meet your Christ who is coming,
so that gathered at his right hand
they may be worthy to possess the heavenly kingdom.
Clearly the 1998 text is the only one that is passable.
Let's take a look at the proposed new translation of the Preface for the Ascension:
It is truly right and just,
our duty and our salvation,
always and everywhere to give you thanks,
Lord, holy Father, almighty and eternal God.
For the Lord Jesus, the King of glory,
conqueror of sin and death,
has ascended [today] into highest heaven
as Angels gazed in wonder; AWKWARD COORDINATION OF TENSES
Mediator between God and humanity,
Judge of the world and Lord of hosts, INEXPRESSIVE AND NOT PARTICULARLY COHERENT LIST OF TITLES
he ascended, not to abandon our lowly state
but that we, his members, might confidently hope to follow
where he, our Head and origin, has gone before. MORE AWKWARD COORDINATION OF TENSES AND MOODS; "OUR HEAD AND ORIGIN" IS ODD
Therefore, overflowing with paschal joy,
the whole world exults with your praises; THIS PSEUDO-EXALTED LANGUAGE DOES NOT WORK
the heavenly powers also and the angelic hosts
sing together the hymn of your glory
and acclaim without end:
Here is 1998:
It is truly right and just, our duty and our salvation, I DISLIKE "Just"
that we should always sing your glory, Lord;
but we praise you with greater joy than ever
in this Easter season
when Christ became our paschal sacrifice.
[Today] the Lord Jesus, the King of glory,
who has conquered sin and death,
ascended to the highest heavens while angels gazed in wonder. TENSE COORDINATION IS CORRECT HERE
He is the mediator between God and humanity,
judge of the world and Lord of heavenly powers.
He has not abandoned our human condition
but has filled us with hope
that where he, our head, has gone before us
we, his members, shall follow after. AGAIN THE MOOD AND TENSES ARE CONSISTENT
Therefore, the universe resounds with Easter joy,
and the choirs of angels sing the endless hymn of your glory:
1973 is OK:
Father, all-powerful and ever-living God,
we do well always and everywhere to give you thanks.
(Today) the Lord Jesus, the king of glory,
the conqueror of sin and death,
ascended to heaven while the angels sang his praises.
Christ, the mediator between God and man,
judge of the world, and Lord of all,
has passed beyond our sight,
not to abandon us but to be our hope.
Christ is the beginning, the head of the Church;
Where he has gone, we hope to follow.
The joy of the resurrection and ascension renews the whole world,
while the choirs of heaven sing for ever to your glory:
I'm not wild about "just" either, but what would you propose? (I assume the Latin is something on the order "dignum et iustum.)
For what it's worth, while parts of the 1998 are pretty impressive, I have to confess I actually like a lot of the 1973 stuff, particularly the Ascension preface.
Posted by: Gene O'Grady | February 25, 2010 at 01:06 PM
"dignum iustum aequum salutare" mean literally "worthy just right salutary".
"Worthy" is archaic in this usage.
"Just" has Cranmer on its side, but it does not seem to make much sense as a contemporary usage here. "Fitting" is a bit twee. "Meet" and "seemly" are archaic.
"We do well to give you thanks and praise" was OK, but it left "aequum et salutare" untranslated.
"Our duty" for aequum sounds odd; it is just not the sort of thing people say today.
To translate "salutare" as "our salvation" rather than simply as "salutary" introduces a theologically questionable exaggeration.
In fact the four Latin words are just pleonastic Roman liturgical style and should not be translated literally.
Posted by: Spirit of Vatican II | February 25, 2010 at 01:58 PM
Spirit,
You are dead on with your comment on "salutare"
Posted by: me | February 27, 2010 at 06:54 AM